YOU lot are a bit rubbish at sport.
You being Newcastle national teams.
Newcastle North Stars excluded of course. They are the nation’s most successful ice hockey teamever. And it’s a brutal caper.
The governing body – the Australian Ice Hockey League – even uploadsice hockey punch-ups to its YouTube channel. It’s like a booted and suited UFC team.
If some ofthese stick wielders carried on off the ice like they can on the ice they’d be repeatedly tasered by copswearing bulletproof vests. Memo to the kids: stay off the ice.
But back to the other Newcastle national teams – the Jets and the Knights – being a bit rubbish.
“Heresy,”I hear the fans tribe collectively cry.
How dare you on Mindfulness Monday. Formerlyinappropriately referred to as Mad Monday, a time when a man could proudly wear a pink tutu, redstilettos and matching lippy, become dangerously intoxicated, urinate in a public place, punch astranger, frighten a canine and not worry about pesky drug testing for a few weeks.
We need a different bandwagon.
Stay true to the red and blue.
Why should I?
TALENT: Peter Gardiner won the 2016 Kilgour Prize.
I’ll stay true if the big buck blow-ins turn up and playand don’t do the Harold Holt as soon as they can scrape a better offer.
Fans do not want to hear thecoach say some of the players gave up. Ever.
Hear that cop-out even once and the credibility aboutrugby league being woven into the fabric of our region disappears.
Stay true to the red and blue.
It’s a nonsense mantra. Like Google’s “Don’t be evil”.
Is theresomething romantic about turning up to a footy ground with a heart full of hope and a pocket full cashand leaving with neither?
That’s been the case for Jets and the Knights fans in 2015 and 2016. Onegame from 11 at home for the Knights.
And the one win on NSW Voice for Family Mining Day –while we are on nonsense mantras – was a certainty because if the Knights didn’t return a winningresult for the hi-vis on April 10, the matter would have been dragged through the courts for years bymining interests and overturned.
Mining always wins around these parts.
For more than a year now I have been receiving emails and texts from idiots – once known as mates –from around the state, the nation and from foreign shores who take perverse pleasure in reminding meof the cellar dwelling dominance of our national football and rugby league teams.
Tinks jinx hasswept the Hunter. Legend goes that it is an unshakeable curse that may only be broken by sacrificingBig Dog over Mount Tomaree on a blue moon.
Given the next blue moon isn’t until March 2018, I’mnot too hopeful about 2016 prospects.
We are now in possession of a trio of national wooden spoons and are well on the way to possessingan environmentally friendly cutlery set. Love to see them replace the Queens Wharf Tower.
The bandwagon to jump on? Art.
Newcastle’s Peter Gardiner won the 2016 Kilgour Prize and NigelMilsom won the 2015 Archibald Prize.
It’s our artists that are bringing the silverware to the woodencutlery set.
Back a winner. Back art.
Paul Scott is a lecturer in the School of Design, Communication and Information Technology at the University of Newcastle